I’m in the unfortunate habit of eating my lunch as soon as I get bored at work, currently averaging 10AM after a 9AM arrival. At around noon, I took a look in the fridge anyway, just to confirm that my lunch was still, in fact, already eaten. I took a second to savor the memory of the Mother’s Day steak I had a few days earlier. I grabbed a banana from the counter instead and started eating it.
I’m still trying to cut down to a smaller size, so I had to decline when my wife asked if I wanted a turkey burger, which she was getting ready to make. I instead commented on how I wanted to get some yogurt from the grocery when I went yesterday, but they were out of plain yogurt, and that it turns out that most yogurt is totally full of sugar.
I suddenly remembered that I had some beef jerky in the car, and walked out to get that instead (yes, yes, I know it’s expensive, but this is from the “travel” budget, not the “food” budget). I took the sliding side door by the folding table that made up my Covid Desk, out the patio, onto the grass, and into the parking lot to the car. It’s a sunny day, but still cool, and the pool just opened, so I thought it would be nice if I had the time to go for a run to the pool, jump in for an arm workout, then jog back and warm up in the shower. Such a thing is beyond the amount of time we’re given.
As I closed the door, I thought about how, if I were a rich man, it could be steaks every day, and I wouldn’t sweat the $3 between generic brand plain yogurt (out of stock) and the other stuff (in stock, but twice as much), and I wouldn’t feel as bad about opening a can of soup or some other “emergency rations” kind of thing.
I briefly thought about asking my wife what she would be most keen on buying if we had a million dollars, but she was actually working, unlike my kitchen prowling, twitter scrolling and substack reading.
Speaking of:
A twitter account I enjoy likes to ask gendered questions and today asked “men: be honest - is masturbation the easiest way for you to access & enjoy your imagination?" https://twitter.com/rachelclif/status/1658839135925182467
On the substack side,
I can't remember if it was actually on a poster of if I just saw a meme somewhere, but I remember distinctly the phrase "a lottery ticket is just a tax for people who are bad at math." And in some sense that's true, right? Statistically, millions of people who buy lottery tickets are wasting money.
But I remember my brother (who has always been better at math than me, for the record) used to buy lottery tickets from time to time, when the pot was high enough. He explained to me once that he knew the odds were bad, but what he was really spending money on was the ability to dream of a radical, life-altering occurrence such a jackpot would represent. What he would do with the money, how we would change his life and the life of the people he loved. This is a guy who has always been hard-working and financially successful, but he still feels the weight every day of just how hard it is to stay afloat and just how little room their is to screw up. Winning the lottery would finally represent some real safety, tangible prosperity and security for him, his family, particularly his kids and even the dream of it is worth $2 (we've all spent more money for less comfort, right?) https://freddiedeboer.substack.com/p/lottery-ticket-america/comment/2607879
Somehow LSV commented in response to Eigenrobot, which I see from the obligatory “The Tail End” discussions https://twitter.com/Duderichy/status/1658491768160108545
I'm using my imagination for a steak, a memory, a dream, and a blogpost. I buy my lottery tickets when I walk outside, and I think they cost a bit more than $2.
I must be a selfish person, to think about yogurt and a jog alone, rather than to think about how my son wanted to stay home from school today to play with us, and I told him that I had to work. I hate myself for spending the time on Twitter and substack. I wish I had worked instead, and that when I dreamed of what I’d do with infinite money I don’t think about my self-serving hobbies.